There is no Script

I wonder if there are people out there who really know "The Script".

I certainly don't.

It is stressful not to know how to behave or what to feel. Let me correct that, it is stressful to think that someone else will see us, and think that we are behaving or looking or feeling something that we shouldn't - based on that universal Script that apparently everyone knows other than me.

OK, Dad passed away last month. Of course it is not easy, of course it was fucked-up, yes I still feel like it did not happen and he will come out with Mom next time I go to pick "them" up from the Airport. Maybe that is part of it? Some sort of unconscious denial…?

Regardless, one of the most liberating feelings I've felt during the saga of the last couple of months is the realization that I am allowed to feel what I feel and to act in the way I wish to act….

Yes, I am free to be myself, most importantly I do not need to act someone else's part.

I am The Script.

At least I am My Script.

Is this the realization great artists arrive at? We ARE the script!

And if each of us is his or her Script, then we do not need to act the part that we don't want to! The part that does not match our feelings, that does not match our Script.

WOW! This is a refreshing thought :-)

There are two ways this can play out, either we play based on someone else's Script and stick to the role we are given, or we start working and acting based on our script and play our part faithfully and whole-heartily. There is no middle ground, no compromise, no way of playing both roles and getting away with it, at least not in the long run.

So from now on I will play my role based on My Script. And feel the relief on my shoulders from not having to care what happens if some else sees me playing my part outside of the role they expected me to play.

My Part, My Role, My Script.